Separation Anxiety

It is my experience that children do not learn lessons from their parents nearly as often as they teach lessons to their parents. Whatever purpose God may have for my children in their adulthood, their main function in the early years has been to humble me and remind me of my position before a benevolent God. Sometimes I imagine God twisting them together into something like a belt sander and applying them on “high” to my conscience. Or pounding them like a spike right above my forehead in that spot that Motrin never seems to penetrate. “Wake up!” “Pay attention!” I say it to them, but I hear it from Him. 

Mine eyes have seen some Type A, major kindergarten separation anxiety this month. Kicking, screaming, grabbing the doorway, clinging to my favorite shirt and stretching it all out, she’s very thorough. Loud. She is also firm that she cannot control it. “I can’t help it.” That’s what she says, and I know it’s true.

Fear doesn’t ever change, does it? It is always unexpected, and it changes behavior almost never for the better. The reminder I seem to be getting this week, though, as I watch her kick and scream all over town, is that some of that same anxiety comes when I separate from the arms of God. If I don’t talk to Him, don’t think about Him, don’t read my Bible or listen and ponder in Sunday School, fear and anxiety and tears will rule my waking moments in ways that I cannot control. 

I suppose it makes sense. The nature of our being is that we will always be ruled by something. That’s sheep for you. If we are not allowing God’s law to penetrate our minds and transform our actions, then something else will. My decisions never happen without some sort of motivation. Christ desires to be that motivation, and leaves me free to draw close anytime. He invites; He doesn’t force. He persuades; He never intimidates. He creates the hunger, and we must come and get it. 

One thing this holy separation anxiety does is make me weak, so in the spirit of immediate help and strength I won’t make you look it up. Help right here right now.

Zephaniah 3:14-17

Shout for joy, O daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away His judgements against you, He has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; You will fear disaster no more. In that day it will be said to Jerusalem: “Do not be afraid O Zion; Do not let your hands fall limp. The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”

He is in our midst. What a promise. We can be encouraged by it. It’s difficult to “be” encouraged when you’re just not. “I can’t help it,” we say. Many times I honestly feel this kind of encouragement takes too long. But then the immediate kinds of comfort cause other problems or they don't last. All I know to say is wait for the Holy comfort. He is in our midst. Depend on it. It’s coming. Read again. Ask again. Wait and trust. 

Speaking of separation anxiety, the laundry calls. God bless us today, every one.