Separation Anxiety

It is my experience that children do not learn lessons from their parents nearly as often as they teach lessons to their parents. Whatever purpose God may have for my children in their adulthood, their main function in the early years has been to humble me and remind me of my position before a benevolent God. Sometimes I imagine God twisting them together into something like a belt sander and applying them on “high” to my conscience. Or pounding them like a spike right above my forehead in that spot that Motrin never seems to penetrate. “Wake up!” “Pay attention!” I say it to them, but I hear it from Him. 

Mine eyes have seen some Type A, major kindergarten separation anxiety this month. Kicking, screaming, grabbing the doorway, clinging to my favorite shirt and stretching it all out, she’s very thorough. Loud. She is also firm that she cannot control it. “I can’t help it.” That’s what she says, and I know it’s true.

Fear doesn’t ever change, does it? It is always unexpected, and it changes behavior almost never for the better. The reminder I seem to be getting this week, though, as I watch her kick and scream all over town, is that some of that same anxiety comes when I separate from the arms of God. If I don’t talk to Him, don’t think about Him, don’t read my Bible or listen and ponder in Sunday School, fear and anxiety and tears will rule my waking moments in ways that I cannot control. 

I suppose it makes sense. The nature of our being is that we will always be ruled by something. That’s sheep for you. If we are not allowing God’s law to penetrate our minds and transform our actions, then something else will. My decisions never happen without some sort of motivation. Christ desires to be that motivation, and leaves me free to draw close anytime. He invites; He doesn’t force. He persuades; He never intimidates. He creates the hunger, and we must come and get it. 

One thing this holy separation anxiety does is make me weak, so in the spirit of immediate help and strength I won’t make you look it up. Help right here right now.

Zephaniah 3:14-17

Shout for joy, O daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter of Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away His judgements against you, He has cleared away your enemies. The King of Israel, the Lord, is in your midst; You will fear disaster no more. In that day it will be said to Jerusalem: “Do not be afraid O Zion; Do not let your hands fall limp. The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior. He will exult over you with joy, He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.”

He is in our midst. What a promise. We can be encouraged by it. It’s difficult to “be” encouraged when you’re just not. “I can’t help it,” we say. Many times I honestly feel this kind of encouragement takes too long. But then the immediate kinds of comfort cause other problems or they don't last. All I know to say is wait for the Holy comfort. He is in our midst. Depend on it. It’s coming. Read again. Ask again. Wait and trust. 

Speaking of separation anxiety, the laundry calls. God bless us today, every one. 

Friday Benediction

Hey there, friends!


Happy Friday!! I am so happy it is. Got some girl time coming this weekend. Going to the beach with 11 ladies that I graduated from high school with back when we were girls. So I don't have long to talk. I have to go throw more things in my suitcase, which is already too full.


Sometimes Larry Hicks ends our Sunday School class with a benediction. He has it committed to memory, and I have thought it sounded Biblical, but never knew where from. As soon as it's over we all bolt out of there and down to the nursery and children's hall, so there's never time to ask where he found it. By the next week, I've forgotten all about it. 


Lo and behold, I found it today. It's in Jude. It's the last verse of Jude. In honor of it finally being Friday I'm going to use this as our benediction for the week. I'm blowing it up so you can't miss it. It's that good.


"Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy, to the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen."


Hear it, friends! See you next week.

Support Partners: Pink Ribbon Pot Luck

Missie Baker sent me several upcoming opportunities for all the pink-ribbon wearers and supporters in October. Her group, Support Partners, provides assistance and comfort for women newly diagnosed with breast cancer. 


First is a mighty cute invitation to the Support Partners Pot Luck Luncheon. There will be yummy lunch and a talk from a local breast health nurse. Everyone will enjoy the goodie bags and the glow of being surrounded by women who are traveling the same path. All breast cancer patients and survivors are invited to come, and you should totally grab an invitation at the welcome desk. I'm such a sucker for anything with polka dots. Aren't you? 


Support Partners Pot Luck Luncheon
Date, Time, and Place: Friday, October 8, 11:00 am, at the ROC
RSVP: Missie Baker at 433-6828 


Next from Support Partners is the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer Mall to Mall Walk. The "Ladies First" team from FBCP will be back this year. I haven't done this, but I always hear it's fun. Everyone is welcome to walk the route from University Mall to Cordova Mall. Contributions are also welcome, and y'all know they hate to ask. 


I would be willing to bet that some will be walking around inside the malls later that day as well. Can you seriously call University Mall a mall anymore? I'm not sure. 


Making Strides Mall to Mall Walk
Date, Time, and Place: Saturday, October 30, 7:00 am
More info: 475-0850

Beauty has a place

Beauty without vanity. That's what we're going for. Daughters of God have been beautiful since the beginning (Genesis 6:2). We must be careful, though, not to seek beauty for its own sake.  Proverbs 31:30 says "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." We want the kind of beauty that points the world back to its Creator, not distracts from Him. 


May I please point out our beautiful new blog header? Designed by our own Hannah in the church office, the new header explains what we are about around here. Our blog exists for the women of First Baptist Church, but not because of them. We always want the blog or any other Womens' Ministries endeavor to point us back to the Creator, the maker of heaven and earth. Anything that's only about us will turn ugly before long. 


The beauty of the earth praises Him. It shows us that He loves beautiful things. Since we are like Him, we like them too. That's why I want the blog to be better-looking this year. As long as we seek Him, we can honor Him with beauty. It might be a fine line to walk, but I hope He will bless the striving this year. We want to have pictures and pretty colors and all the things that bring beauty to the screen. In the end, though, we want to encourage each other to seek Him out. Above all else. Our beauty depends on it. 


So the new banner is a great start. When you see Hannah tell her how good it looks! 

Welcome Back Fall!

Okay, y’all, I’m back. It’s fall, and I’m geared up. I hope you are too.

I know by now you’re starting to feel like you’ve heard it all before from me, so I thought I would lay out for you some of my goals for this space, and then you can hold my feet to the fire over getting them done.

Here’s what I hope you will find when you visit the blog this year:

1. Encouragement
2. Bible-study jump-starters that you can use when you have those stolen, quiet moments
3. Pictures of our Women’s Ministries events (Though it’s going to take a little longer while I develop the technical skills. God will have to create something out of nothing for sure!)
4. Book descriptions coming soon: Radical and Hole in the Gospel as recommended by Linda in last month’s newsletter. Call me if you have a suggestion!
5. A sense of enthusiasm over being a woman at First Baptist Church Pensacola

That’s right. I’m not satisfied with us being resigned that we go to church together. I’m going for something closer to thrilled. It’s okay that Jesus is the only thing we all have in common. He’s enough. And if He’s all we share we are in good shape.

So that’s what I’m going for at least once per week. I am hoping for twice per week, but as I mentioned yesterday, I’m a woman in transition. But truly aren’t we all? To be a woman is to be in transition. Let’s cut each other some slack and enjoy what we are able to bring forth by God’s grace.

I am praying for you, for us, that we will learn to love each other. That He will teach us and not we ourselves. Take care, and I’ll see you Sunday!

Holding My Breath

Hello, friends! Happy Fall. All that rain finally left and, momentarily, took the hottest heat with it. So nice to be able to take a deep breath outdoors!

I have been thinking about breathing lately. Waiting for school to start always feels like holding my breath underwater. I know the relief is there, but I can’t feel it, until suddenly there it is! And then the running around panting starts and doesn’t let up until Christmas is over.

Anyway, that’s not why I have been thinking about breathing. Over the summer I did a lot of painting. I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying to get better, and I noticed that I get a much steadier line next to the trim if I hold my breath.

Now, when there is painting happening at my house, it usually indicates a time of transition. We have historically either just moved or are about to move. We are buying a house or listing a house or moving furniture to accommodate a new baby or a growing-up baby. The household is in an uproar, more so I mean than the usual clamor.

We are not one of those families where one person makes all the decisions on wall color no matter how much I have hoped that we would be. So if someone is finally painting that means that we are at the end of some major, ahem, discussions.

Discussions of this nature are also strained by the circumstances surrounding whatever life change we have just undertaken. New cities mean new churches and schools and jobs. Uncertainty prevails and patience is low. Conversations about paint become deeply personal, filled with hidden meaning. One person will feel like their breath has been wasted on whatever input the other person didn’t follow. The silences between the discussions are often syncopated by deep sighs or exasperated huffs. All of these things take up oxygen.

When I noticed that holding my breath made my painted line go smoother it hit me that holding my breath might make all the paint color negotiations, and therefore the life transitions, go more smoothly too. I wondered whether the Bible might say something about breathing being related to speech. Because, you know, maybe it didn’t, and then I could go back to sighing until I got my way.

Alas, the Bible did have much to say on the subject of breathing, and it was a bit more serious than I was prepared for.

I found several references to God blasting people with the Breath of His nostrils. Or clearing ground with his hot breath. So first of all, yikes. It did not in any place that I could find mention anyone besides God doing this which indicates to me that it’s not okay for people to use breath as a rebuke. Or it’s only okay if you’re holy already, which definitely leaves me out. So much for blasting people with my hot breath over the color of the laundry room.

Also dismaying was how closely linked the words for breath and breathing are to the same meaning as what we would think of as our spirit or soul. It’s the essence of you that goes when you die and leaves behind your lifeless body. I’ll spare you the Hebrew words if you’ll check out the following verses:

Psalm 33:6, 104:29-30 (God’s breath or spirit lives in us.)

Psalm 135:17, Jeremiah 10:14 (Nothing we create holds any spirit or breath.)

Isaiah 42:5, Ezekiel 37:1-14, Daniel 5:23 (God gives the breath of life. The Ezekiel passage is especially vivid. The Daniel one especially humbling.)

Psalm 146:4, Ecclesiastes 3:19 (The breath He gives us is temporary.)

Let’s just say that whenever I look for simple little self-betterment texts in the Bible, it almost always reveals the pridefulness of my nature. In other words, in connecting my breath to my speech I was thinking too shallow and too small.

My breath indicates a connection to my Maker. It is the essence of His life in me; it’s the tangible presence of His creative force. Each time. Ponder that for a minute. Each breath is His gift. Just because I have one breath today does not mean that another will follow tomorrow.

Having read these, I just want to be much more careful how I dole them out. With each breath am I giving life or laying waste? Do I create or destroy? Am I giving relief and refreshment or something different?